I want to be a person who gossips about people’s secret virtues, not their secret vices.
But let’s be honest. I rarely whisper to confidentially compliment. I whisper so I can lace into others and critique them.
Being a critic is easy. Anyone can do it. It takes no skill to scathe, and it takes no backbone to backbite. We love to do what’s easy. We love to gossip because it makes us feel better about ourselves. After all, when I point out Freddy’s flaws, I’m less scandalized by my own.
But it takes a whole lot of confidence to gossip about people’s secret virtues (especially people we’re jealous of). By exposing Freddy’s talents I’ve given him an even greater edge over me (as if he needed an edge, for goodness sake).
I know we feel momentary confidence when we backbite, but it only feeds long-term insecurity. So too, we feel momentary insecurity when we backpat, but it feeds our long-term confidence.
Want to be a more confident person? Then kill your insecurity by whispering about the secret strengths of the person you’re jealous of.
Be a godly gossiper.
No more whispering about people’s secret vices, only their secret virtues. (Proverbs 11:13)
– Bertrand Russell